I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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