hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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