I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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