I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
