I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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