You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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