you guys were way drunker than both of me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
