theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
