i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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