im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
