it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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