I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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