And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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