I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
