I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
