I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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