just tell him i said nine months
handjob tips. give me some.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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