You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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