sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
