Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
