Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
