My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
