I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
