Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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