he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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