And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
