I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Welp...herpes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
