Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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