we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
