We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
