Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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