Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
