there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
