Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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