You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
