bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Randomize
