im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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