is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i dont even know how to be here
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
