WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
