butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In other news, I just burned my penis
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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