I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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