i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
