So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
