I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
