That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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