Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
