He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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