You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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