shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
