i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
