dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I am one with the molecules
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
